why does sex have to result in babies why cant it result in pizza
“push, Helen! push!” she gives the last of her energy, and she hears it
the soft, tender sizzle of a freshly baked pizza
the doctor holds it up by the crust, carefully snipping off the little plastic table
“it’s a deep dish!”
what the hell is wrong with this website
We like pizza and not babies.
(Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that annually hosts an anime convention. So, it’s fairly common to have cosplayers among our customers at the time of the con. The owner is okay with it as long as they don’t annoy the other customers. On this day, we seat twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young customers near them.)
“What is this? Why are those guys costumed?”
“Oh, there’s a large anime convention ongoing at the local school. It’s rather common to see them at the times of the gathering.”
*chuckles* “Yeah, what a bunch of dorks.”
“Total nerds.”
(Since there are no other free tables and they didn’t pre-order a table, they sit near the cosplayers while mocking them under their breath. In the meantime, a cosplayer of Pikachu is talking somewhat loudly on his phone.)
*waves at me* “Hey, you! Tell those dorks to shut up!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *to ‘Pikachu’* “Dude, not so loud. You’re bothering people.”
“What? Oh, sorry to bother you guys.” *starts talking again, but much quieter*
“Yeah, that’s right. Shut up, you virgin nerd!”
“Go back to the library, virgins!”
(At this point, I warn the owner about the behavior of the younger customers. He immediately goes to their table.)
“What seems to be the problem?”
“It’s not our fault. Those nerds started to insult us! We’re not going to stay here and do nothing!”
“My staff told me the contrary, actually.”
“What?! That b***h waitress is lying!”
“Sir, I won’t allow you to insult my staff or customers. Those cosplayers were extremely polite and quiet during their meals, unlike you. If someone must be thrown out, it’s you.”
(In the blink of an eye, one of the young customers gets up and tries to grab the owner. However, to our surprise, one of the cosplayers playing Batman grabs him by the hair, slams him on the table and holds him still.)
“OW! That f***ing hurts! Who the f*** do you think you are, you motherf***er?!”
*in a raspy tone* “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am… Batman.”
(The two other customers begin to yell, but quickly shut up when all the cosplayers get up and surround them, showing that most of them are clearly larger than them. The mall security arrests the bad customers, and the cosplayers leave after apologizing for the trouble. However, it’s not before we snap a picture with them. Now, we frequently joke about that time when Batman, Pikachu and Master Chief saved the restaurant!)
I understand what my dad meant when he told me I needed to be stronger, like you, Link…He wasn’t talking about strength, like lifting stuff. He was talking about being brave…
Colin was the best part of Twilight Princess
Daniel Coffeen (via creatingaquietmind)
Wow. I mean, I knew all of this stuff separately, but putting it together and looking at it like that… wow.
(via stfuconservatives)
I remember that moon being a little bigger.
i changed my background again
*laughs*
i dont like camping but lets go and do this
IT’S LIKE A FUCKING HOBBIT HOLE
yeah that’s a nice picture and all but clearly you’ve never made cookies before because you don’t have enough space between the balls of dough i hope you were trying to make a sheet cookie because that’s what you’re going to get motherfucker
breakfast just got a lot easier
